By Siobhan Donegan

Miss Major Griffin Gracy is a trans woman of color, whom for the purposes of brevity I shall sometimes refer to simply as Miss Griffin, or Miss Major. Miss Griffin is also an important figure in trans activism. Her activist work has made an important and significant contribution to identifying the root causes of gender discrimination, particularly of trans women of color. In Griffin’s opinion it is the ‘prison industrial complex’ that is a major factor in the incarceration of trans women of color and of other people of various queer identities.

Miss Griffin has pointed out that transgender or genderqueer is a perspective or state of being which is ‘outside of the law’, despite the fact that there are of course many transgender people who are not imprisoned. What she means here, is in reference to the experience of ‘constant rejection’ from the mainstream heteronormative society, particularly in the pursuit of education or employment.

Because there are a large percentage of trans women of color facing race and ‘gender based’ discrimination, many of them expect to die young – as there has been and still is an ‘epidemic’ of murders. As such, the term ‘Black Transgender Elder’ remains unusual and to some unthinkable, however this is precisely what Miss Major is. She is considered to be an icon as has been described as having shaped the trans rights movement.

Miss Major is a ‘veteran’ of the historic Stonewall riots, and she also survived the Attica State Prison. In this context, the struggle of the LGBT community for equality ‘intersects’ with Miss Major’s personal activism for transgender civil rights. Griffin’s career, pioneering for social justice, extends over 50 years.

Miss Griffin Gracy was born on October 25^th 1940, in the South side of Chicago, and was assigned male at birth. It was around about the age of 15-16 that she first discovered that she liked wearing female clothes. At this young age, Miss Griffin began to experiment by trying on her mother’s clothes. Unfortunately, Griffin’s mother found out which resulted in her getting a beating. She then started meeting up with friends that she describes as ‘little’ drag queens.

Miss Major, at the initial stage of her transition, had to depend on the black market for her hormones. She turned to sex work and illegal activities such as theft in order to survive. Miss Major was just 22 when she moved to New York City. She already knew that there was a thriving trans community on 42^nd street, and thus this is where she found an apartment.

Miss Major reflected that during the era of the 1960s, many people didn’t realise that they were questioning or exploring their gender identity, specifically their gender assigned at birth. Back then the contemporary terminology related to gender identities simply didn’t exist.

It was the murder of Griffin’s friend known as ‘Puppy’, a Puerto Rican trans woman and sex worker whose body was found in her apartment, that acted as the catalyst to Griffin becoming involved in trans activism. The authorities had ruled the case as a suicide despite Griffin’s belief that there was evidence for murder. This event increased her awareness of the uncaring attitude of authorities to the number of young trans women being murdered.

As mentioned, Miss Griffin was a veteran of the Stonewall riots, and her friends from that important era are now famous icons such as Marsha P. Johnson, Crystal La-Beija and Sylvia Rivera. During this time, Miss Griffin was a regular of the Stonewall Inn. Unfortunately during the first night of the Stonewall riots, she had her jaw broken by a police officer and was subsequently knocked unconscious, previously having been taken into police custody. However, there are contradictory evidence, as one version of this story says that it was a correction officer who broke Miss Griffin’s jaw after being taken into custody.

During her youth, Miss Major also participated and experienced the splendour of the ‘Drag Ball scene’. During an interview in 1998 she described this wonderful scene: “The Drag Balls were phenomenal! It was like going to the Oscars shows today. Everybody dressed up. Guys in tuxedos, Queens in gowns you would not believe!”. Anecdotally, some of the competing Queens had been working on their ‘gowns’ all year long.

Returning to the harsher elements of Miss Major’s story, she was in fact incarcerated for five years. Upon her release from prison in the late 1970s, she moved to California to continue her activism.

During the AIDS epidemic, Miss Major worked with several HIV/AIDS organisations based in the San Francisco area. During the early 1980s, she focused her commitment directly on helping people with HIV/AIDS – she even drove San Francisco’s first mobile needle exchange.

After facing many personal hardships in her life, including homelessness and imprisonment, Miss Major, who is also sometimes known popularly as ‘Mama’, became a vocal activist for trans rights. In 2005, she joined Trans Gender Variant and Intersex Justice, initially as a staff organiser progressing to become the Executive Director. Miss Major often spoke out against the prison system in America, and as the executive director focused the group’s attention on the imprisonment of trans women, particularly trans women of colour.

There is a biographical book called ‘Miss Major Speaks – The Life and Legacy of a Black Trans Revolutionary’ co-written by Miss Major herself and Toshio Menorek. In this work, Miss Major speaks of her survival of the Bellevue Psychiatric hospital, Attica Prison and the AIDS crisis. The book is perceived as a ‘roadmap’ for black, trans and queer youth on ‘their path to liberation’, even though as Griffin herself reflects, the experience of trans people today is different.

Today is World Mental Health Day. The 2022 theme set by the World Federation for Mental Health is to ‘make mental health and wellbeing for all a global priority’.

LGBT+ mental health

In June 2022, a NHS report revealed that LGBT+ people in Scotland still face significant health and social inequalities, across every measure of wellbeing.

The research found that 54% of LGBT+ people have a mental health problem such as depression, anxiety or chronic stress. 72% said their mental or emotional wellbeing got worse due to COVID.

The research found a clear relationship between social health and mental health, highlighting that other people’s attitudes and actions directly affected our community’s mental wellbeing.

A non-binary respondent said:

“I’ve had a lot of issues with anxiety and stress for pretty much as long as I can remember. It was made worse by people not accepting me, especially the two long-term partners I had before – they would just deny whenever I tried to bring up my identity. That’s kind of shattered my self-esteem to the point. I guess the anxiety of how people are going to view me – that worry is always in the back of my mind”.

Despite these higher levels of mental health problem, research also found that LGBT+ people are less likely to access key health services because of negative past experiences or anticipating being stigmatised or discriminated.

LGBT+ mental health support

At LGBT Health and Wellbeing, it is our mission to promote the health, wellbeing and equality of LGBT+ adults (16+) in Scotland. We want to live in a Scotland where sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression do not impact negatively on health and wellbeing.

We support the community in Scotland by providing a range of accessible, responsive and LGBT+ affirmative support services, community events and initiatives. We also work with statutory and third sector partners to raise awareness of the experiences and needs of LGBT+ people, to support the development of LGBT+ inclusive policies and services.

We run a national LGBT+ helpline for LGBT+ people right across Scotland. This includes those questioning or exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity. Our helpline is also here for the families, friends and supporters of LGBT+ people, and health and social care professionals working with LGBT people.

We also provide a counselling service in Edinburgh and Glasgow, as well as flexible 1-1 support sessions with our Mental Health Development Workers.

To help LGBT+ people find each other, we host a social programme of events, workshops, and peer support groups aimed at building and supporting the ways that LGBT+ people look after their wellbeing.

Finally, we’re proud to have partnered with the Mental Welfare Commission for Scotland to produce a guide for health and social care service providers with guidance on how to develop mental health services inclusive of the unique needs of LGBT+ people.

Sign up to our newsletter  to follow more of our work in LGBT+ mental health.

by Siobhan Donegan

Claude Cahun is mostly known as a surreal artist, specifically for their self-portraits photographic work which have been described as presenting a ‘dizzying kaleidoscopic mix of mystery and exuberance’. Cahun is also known for their photo-montages, with whom their/her long-term partner Marcel Moore contributed to in the capacity of ‘artist collaborator’. Cahun’s iconic photography has also been described as a ‘dialogue with multiplicity’. In a creative psychological context, it was an ongoing self-exploration of their character/personality through text and imagery. Cahun described it themselves as a ‘hunt’ – presumably for self and identity.

As well as being a French Surrealist photographer artist, Cahun was a writer, sculptor and activist. They also were a propagandist and resistance worker during World War 2. Cahun was gay and if they were alive today may have identified as non-binary or perhaps more specifically genderfluid. As Cahun themselves stated ‘Masculine? Feminine, it depends on the situation. Neuter is the only gender that always suits me’. In this context Cahun’s photographic self-exploration didn’t just depict a number of theatrical personalities but also explored gender identity/expression.

Cahun has been described as having ‘protested gender and sexual norms’ with their name change and as such they have attracted an increasing following amongst feminists and people within the LGBT community, and on an intellectual level the interest of Art Historians. Cahun in fact, was multi-talented as they were also a Poet, Critic, translator and Essayist. However, it was through fully embracing their gender identity\fluidity that they are considered a ground-breaking Artist.

Claude Cahun’s original name was Lucy Renee Mathilde Schwob and was born on the 25th October 1894, and died on the 8th December 1954. Cahun was born into an intellectual Jewish family in Nantes. Their great uncle David Leon Cahun had been an orientalist, whilst their uncle Marcel Shwob was an Avant-garde writer. Their mother Mary Antoinette Courebaisse was taken into a psychiatric facility because of her mental illness. As a teenager, Cahun also struggled with mental illness, including ‘suicidal thoughts’, bulimia and ‘crippling sadness’.

Cahun’s early education included the Parson’s Mead School in Surrey which was a private school. This was after they had unfortunately experienced antisemitism at high school in Nantes. Cahun also studied at the University of Paris-Sorbonne. It was at the age of just 18 in 1912 that they made their first initial experimental photographic self-portraits. Their image making expression continued throughout the 1930s.

In about 1915 they had their hair cut very short and continued working on their photographic self- exploration at the same time. These photographs have been described as ‘cross-dressing experiments’ as they could be dressed as a ‘sportsman, sailor or dandy’.

Cahun adopted the pseudonym-Claude Cahun, as this was more gender neutral. They had previously used the names Claude Courlis after Curlew, and Daniel Douglas apparently taking inspiration from lord Alfred Douglas.

As previously mentioned Cahun creatively explored gender identity and the subconscious mind through surrealist photography. Their self-portraits featured outfits that defied conventional identification of feminine or masculine, and today would perhaps be described as gender neutral or fluid. Cahun in reference to their self-exploration famously stated, ‘Under this mask, another mask’ and ‘I will never be finished removing all these faces’. Taking this into consideration, Cahun’s work has generated interest beyond the history of photography, for example and significantly in Gender Studies.

Suzanne Malherbe, who also changed her\their name to Marcel Moore, became Cahun’s lifelong partner after they both settled in Paris in the early 1920s. It was after Cahun had moved to Paris that they became involved with the Surrealist Parisian Art scene – it was then that Cahun went on to collaborate with the famous Man Ray. Cahun and Moore, as well as being partners also collaborated on many creative projects. These included photomontages, sculptures and written works. Surprisingly, Cahun and their partner also became ‘step-siblings’ as Cahun’s divorced father married Moore’s widowed mother.

Cahun and Moore, after relocating in Paris, slowly became involved in the small Parisian avant-garde circle, who coincidentally were also exploring aspects of identity. Probably one of the most famous artists at the time ‘playing’ with gender was Marcel Duchamp who introduced Rrose Selavy, his artistic character and female alter ego. Cahun and Moore in fact welcomed avant-garde artists and writers to the parties that they organised at their house in about 1922.

Cahun and their partner also met the head of experimental theatre ‘Le Plateau’- Pierre Albert Birot. Here, both again collaborated with Moore designing stage sets and costumes – Cahun concentrating on performance skills.

In this connection it is interesting to note that Cahun’s self-portraits incorporated elements of theatre and the aesthetics of surrealism. They also significantly ‘blurred’ gender indicators, partly through often showing only head and shoulders. In some pictures, Cahun’s head is shaved looking directly at the viewer; this together with the varying gender representations was apparently a way of undermining the ‘patriarchal gaze’.

As mentioned above, Cahun was also a writer and had some of their writings published. These included ‘Heroines’ in 1925 which featured a ‘series of monologues’ based on female fairy tale characters. These were ‘intertwined’ with images of modern contemporary women as a means of making witty comparisons.

Cahun became involved with the ‘Association des Ecrivains et Artistes Revolutionnaires’ in 1932. They took part in certain surrealist exhibitions which included the London International Surrealist Exhibition and in Paris (1936) ‘Exposition Surrealiste d’Objets.

Finally, I just wanted to add that as a Surrealist artist, Cahun has mostly been written out of art history until their photographic work was included in an exhibition in 1986. Only then, Claude Cahun was recognised as a significant artist and gained an increasing following.

Why is it important to have these days of visibility for our LGBTQIA+ community?

In a 2021 article,  Pink News covered the Office National Statistic (ONS) 2019 report on sexual orientation which revealed that the LGBTQIA+ population in the UK was growing.

“The data, the latest in an annual series on LGB+ populations, showed that the proportion of the UK population aged 16 years and over who are straight shrank from 94.6 per cent in 2018 to 93.7 per cent in 2019.

In 2019, 2.7 per cent of the population said they were LGB, up from 2.2 per cent the previous year. This represents a thumping 200,000 people jump.

This spike was seen across almost all demographics. LGB women leapt by 0.2 per cent to 2.5 per cent, men from 2.5 per cent to 2.9 per cent.”

The data is clear; the community is growing. And within the last 2 years with loads more time for self-reflection during the pandemic, we have heard of many more stories of people realising that they fall somewhere on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

It is therefor important that we as a community continue to welcome those who have discovered this part of themselves, by maintaining a safe and accepting space for them.

Today we’d like to shine a light on a vibrant part of our LGBTQIA+ community: bisexual, bi+ and pansexual people.

Bi+ people can experience acute marginalisation. Often targeted with misunderstanding and stereotypes such as being indecisive or greedy, bi+ people face biphobia and bi-erasure both from within and outside the queer community. This causes a great deal of harm to individuals, but also to our community when we use against each other the very cis-heteronormative narratives we are trying to liberate ourselves from.

In a the 2022 Health Needs Assessment conducted by the NHS, research found out that 69% of bisexual men and 42% of bisexual women surveyed had been subjected to discrimination within the last year.  In some cases, there are even increased instances of abuse towards bisexual individuals and lower mental wellbeing (especially bisexual women).

The research also found out that bisexual women and men were the least likely to be out (nearly half of bisexual women said they were not out).

“Many felt that assumptions were made about them based on their current partner, and it was not easy to assert their bisexual identity to counteract assumptions that they were either straight or gay depending on who they were currently dating. Some expressed fatigue at having to continually come out as bisexual.”

This is why it is important, that we as a community remain aware of the struggles we might each face because of our different identities. And that we remember that we are all part of a much larger community that can support each other.

Thankfully, the internet has a wealth of resources for bisexuals, or for those who may be bi-curious. Here is a selection of resources we have found the most helpful.

Organisations

The HRC (Human Rights Campaign), have a wealth of resources within their Bisexual FAQ.

Books

If you want to read more about the bisexual experience, The Bi-Ble is a collection of personal essays and stories about the bisexual experience.

If you would like to get yourself a copy of “The Bi-Ble”, you can do so by supporting your local queer bookshop, if you’re in Edinburgh, check out Lighthouse Books, Lavender Menace, and for those based in Glasgow, there is Category is Books.

Bisexual Podcast Collection

The Bi Pan Library have a massive collection of Bisexual focused podcasts. From Two Bi Guys, to  The Non.Bi.Nary Show. A whole host of different voices and identities from different backgrounds intersecting with Pansexuality, as well as polyamorous, trans and non-binary identities.

You can listen to these podcasts and more here at The Bi Pan Library.

Events and groups

The Scottish Bi+ Network

Community-run organisation set up in 2018 to provide support for people attracted to multiple genders, tackle bi+ erasure, and raise awareness of issues facing the bi+ community. In addition to regular social events, they also have a monthly Neurodiverse Space and run quarterly one-day community events known as Bi+ Gatherings.

You can find out more at: www.scottishbinet.org.org

Bitastic

An annual bi+ event for Scotland. Every year around Bi Visibility Day on 23rd September we work together to celebrate bi and pan identities at an event with a wide range of workshops and fun activities. You don’t have to be bi or pan to attend Bitastic, but we do want to create a “bi+ bubble” each year where we can share with others like us in a in a safe space. Bitastic is inclusive of all genders.

You can find out more at: https://bitastic.org

The Big Dream

As part of Bitastic 2022, we will be hosting The Big Dream workshop at 13:30 on the 24th of September for a creative discussion around the challenges bi+ people face in connecting with and finding a sense of belonging at queer community events.

We’ll collectively create a bi+-centred space for you to take the lead, have a voice and use a range of materials to contribute your experiences and ideas to imagine the bi+ inclusive event of your dream.

Our volunteer and illustrator Madeleine Leisk from YLWBK illustrations will gather your ideas and create a graphic to visually represent your collective story. This will then be shared with organisations like LGBT Health and Wellbeing, Scottish Bi+ Network, LGBT Youth Scotland and Equality Network which have a bi+ community-building responsibility.

How to join us?

Grab a day ticket for the whole of Bitastic, this will let you attend any workshop throughout the day (ours will start at 13:30).

Tickets are available on a sliding scale (including free) at: https://www.outsavvy.com/event/9967/bitastic-2022

What on earth is the ‘Whoniverse’ and who resides in it? Well ‘Who’ is not only the question, it is also ironically the answer. It is the weird, wonderful and sometimes frightening place that the iconic and eccentric Doctor Who has all his, and most recently her adventures. Thus, if like all good Time-lords we jump in our Tardis and travel back in time, we can discover and explore the slow development of queer themes in the Whoniverse or DWU (Doctor Who Universe). This universe includes the spin off novels and comics from the series, and even the audio-play adaptions.

Our first stop is the early 1960’s, which unfortunately was a much less enlightened time. When Waris Hussein, during an episode of the ‘Fan Show’, was questioned specifically on LGBT issues, he stated that as Doctor Who was primarily aimed at children, ‘queer topics were not something that could readily be examined’. This is hardly surprising as this was during a time before homosexuality had been decriminalised, which wasn’t until 1967 in England and Wales.

It was highly ironic that in a show that featured time travel exploration, and was ahead of its time, that it should nevertheless be stuck in a time warp for two decades. Despite this, it is interesting to note that there were many people of ‘different sexualities’ who worked on Doctor Who over the years. In fact, Waris Hussein, who directed the very first episode of Doctor Who, was gay. It is also significant that the central character of the show, the Doctor, had a strong sense of moral justice and inclusivity, which in storylines often meant standing up for the underdog. The Doctor treats everyone in the universe as equal. This was seen, for example, in how the Doctor took sides with the ‘Thals’ who had been persecuted by the Daleks just because their culture were different.

It was with the Doctor Who adventure ‘The Curse of Fenric’ by writer Ian Briggs, that the first attempt at gay representation was made on the show, with the character Dr Judson.

However, the story was ultimately stopped as even in 1988 such a subject was still considered controversial, and for the same reason as before, this was after all a ‘family show’. The writer Briggs revealed many years later that the character Dr Judson, was meant to be based on Alan Turing. The intention of the story was to have a character who was struggling with his homosexuality (this was changed to a struggle with a disability). If we jump forward in time to the 90s in the novelisation of ‘The Curse of Fenric’ (this media was proved often to be an area in which there was a lot more freedom) the notion of men having feelings for other men is alluded to in the characters of Dr Judson and Commander Millington. The story in fact revolving around Millington’s jealousy of Judson’s affection for the same boy.

Then, in the Doctor Who story ‘Survival’, according to writer Rona Munro, there was a ‘lesbian subtext’ represented in the relationship between characters Ace and Karra. As such, there is the possibility that Ace could be the first onscreen LGBT companion, albeit with some ambiguity in the episode ‘Cat Flap’.

In 2005 the Doctor Who franchise, after an absence from our screens for many years (the series having been taken off air in 1989), was updated, rebooted and finally returned to the small screen. Russell. T. Davies, who had invented the character Vince Tyler, a Doctor Who fan in the ground-breaking T.V Series ‘Queer as Folk’ was now in charge. The series then had a more progressive attitude towards LGBT identities. In the shows premiere, the Doctor declares that a celebrity romance would never work as ‘He’s gay and she’s an alien’, this of course being the first use of the word ‘gay’ in the show’s history.

The next LGBT character that we encounter in our exploration of the Whoniverse is a somewhat controversial one: Lady Cassandra, a peculiar and bizarre character to say the least, who appeared in the 2005 episode ‘The End of the World’.

L. Cassandra is aristocratic in a comedic sense, and who after 700 surgeries has ultimately ended up with no body, has her brain in a jar and is now just a ‘tarp’ of skin stretched into a frame, which must be constantly moisturised. She has also successfully managed to prolong her life by thousands of years, but this has come at a price -a life of crime in which she has brutally slaughtered many of her fellow oligarchs. Cassandra, whilst reflecting on her childhood, briefly mentions, ‘when she was a little boy’. This was perceived as a trans-misogynistic gag about the obsessive and ‘elaborate’ nature of her surgeries. Writer Russell T. Davies said that it was meant as a satire on celebrity obsession with plastic surgeries, however, ultimately it misfired. The throw away gag about Lady Cassandra being transgender undersells what should have been a landmark moment. Furthermore, the character has been criticized as distasteful as we have here the ‘deranged transsexual killer’ which at this point in the history of trans representation in media, was an anachronistic stereotype.

The first unambiguously LGBT character in the series was in all probability Captain Jack Harkness. This was a character who didn’t seem to be bound by any traditional notions or boundaries of sexuality (perhaps could even be described as pansexual). Described as a dashing handsome rogue Time Agent, his ‘direct approach’ involved him kissing both the Doctor and his famous assistant Rose Tyler.

Mention should also be made of the spin off Doctor Who Podcast series ‘Redacted’. This series notably embraces female characters, in the wake of the show’s first female Doctor, and specifically embraces LGBT identities. For a start, the show has been written by trans woman Juno Dawson, who stated ‘it’s a real first for the Doctor Who Universe to have a cast that’s completely led by queer women’ –namely trans activist Charlie Craggs and also Lois Chimimba and Holly Quin Ankrah.

Doctor Who’s thirteenth Incarnation of the Time-lord played by Jodie Whittaker (being also the first female Doctor), recently broadcast a show that the fans were surprised and delighted by. The featured storyline addressed two female characters having feelings for each other in ‘Eve of the Daleks’ -the two characters in question being the Doctor and Yaz (Mandip Gill). In the episode, it is Yaz who admits that she has feelings for the Doctor. This moment of same sex attraction is a highly significant moment for LGBT representation, especially being portrayed in such a popular show.

Finally, it should be mentioned that the series is about to make history by featuring the first black Doctor and the first black transgender actress Yasmin Finney who will star alongside Ncuti Gatwa.

This is the story of the Johnstons: Nicola, Hailie and Sophie. The challenging  journey of Nicola and Hailie through the process of adopting Sophie, and the barriers that queer adoptive parents often face.

Testimonial of a parent using our Rainbow Families services, spoken during the Pink News Edinburgh Summer Reception on Wednesday 29th June. 

Content warning: queerphobia and discrimination

Hi, my name is Nicola and due to the pesky COVID I’m flying solo this evening as my wife Hailie is currently at home nursing our daughter Sophie.

We both have experience of working alongside individuals or families who have been impacted by the care system in Scotland in multiple roles. We were both struck by how many children were looking for forever homes across the country and the difficult circumstances which led them to be looked after. We had always wanted a family together and through discussion we agreed that biology was not an important factor when picturing the make up of our family – for that reason we chose to adopt!

Our adoption journey was lengthy and at times grueling to the point where we almost gave up our dream. If it wasn’t for the activities and supports delivered by LGBT Health and Wellbeing throughout our journey, our life would not be as full and fun, as it is today.

Our family life started in 2019, Sophie was a couple of weeks away from her second birthday and had been in care since birth. The beginning of our family life was different than most in that this fully formed toddler with her own likes, dislikes, routines, and personality was thrust into our family home. It was important that there was no expectation on Sophie to “slot in” to our existing way of living, and for us to work together in learning about each other and learning to live with each other, at her pace to support her though her loss and confusion. We were isolated for the first 9 months of Sophie coming to live with us in order to provide ‘funnelling’ a term used to describe the process of helping a child develop a secure attachment to you as their new parent. This involved a significant amount of work but in a short time it was like we had always been a family.

And then, COVID hit. Whilst this provided us with priceless time to grow and learn together as a family at home it also meant a distinct lack of social opportunities for us to meet other families to establish new connections.

When restrictions were lifted, we as queer adoptive parents were surprised at how rare it is to have social opportunities to meet other families with a similar make up. According to Scottish Adoption, in 2020 1 in 12 adoptions in Scotland were to same sex couples and through research it is clear that there is a distinct lack of tailored support for queer adoptive families. We have been fortunate to have some support from the queer community through the limited activities provided by the Rainbow Families group and are able to access training and opportunities through Adoption UK but this is limited.

It is extremely important for us that Sophie has experiences with families that look like hers to help guide her through her own journey of feeling different and negotiating her own identity. We also maintain bi-annual contact visits with Sophie’s birth parents. We feel it is important that Sophie has a relationship with them, so there are no gaps in her building a full sense of self as she grows into adolescence. As far as we are concerned our child can never have enough love, especially when she is so loveable.

What we would like to see going forward istraining to be rolled out within fostering and adoption services forsocial workers, foster carers and panel members to mitigate heteronormative ideals and practices within the assessment and matching processes. Queer applicants are likely to have firsthand experience of negotiating feeling different and embracing their identity, which is a very common challenge for children living with care experience. Having workers be able to look past perceived gender roles and antiquated family values would go a long way. On our journey we were fortunate enough to meet some incredible practitioners, but we did come across some practitioners who were very insular in their criteria for family finding. This meant we were not considered from the outset for a number of matches.

We would like early years educational resources to include representation of diverse family structures for example within Book Bug materials as this will promote diversity and inclusion .

And most importantly we would like regular organised opportunities for queer adoptive families to come together to engage in meaningful activity and to create connections.

In conclusion Our family is just the right amount of mayhem and love! The adoption process has its challenges, as does any conception of a family, but the possibility of being able to give a child love, opportunity and a secure family home far outweighs any ignorance we experienced.

This is Freddie’ story. The story of a trans child learning to navigate life in a transphobic society, with the unconditional love and support of their parent.

Testimonial of a parent using our Rainbow Families services, spoken during the Pink News Edinburgh Summer Reception on Wednesday 29th June. 

Content warning: transphobia and bullying

It takes a village to raise a child.

You trust the village that more good will come than harm.

There are protections, guiding policies, rights enshrined in law to make the village safe for everyone.

But these are nothing when the village lacks knowledge and fails to understand its own people.

My son is trans and the village doesn’t like that at all.

Did he fall under the spell of an online trend? Is he confused? Has he read this front page news story about how children are being experimented on? Or this story about how trans acceptance compromises the safety of women? And look at this one, it’s just a phase, kids grow out of it if you ignore it and don’t indulge it.

The village has a lot to say about things it just doesn’t understand but wants to contain and control anyway.

And the village likes to blame…culture, the internet, youth, parents…

Accepting my daughter as my son is perhaps bonkers to you. Maybe you would rather have me screened for munchausen’s syndrome by proxy than trust that this was absolutely the right thing to do.

In 2013 I let my 5 year old change their name, choose their own clothes, cut their hair short and style it like Robin from batman. They learnt to swim in trunks not a costume. I let them tell others they were a boy now. I told others they are a boy now. I allowed a child to believe what they felt was maleness absolutely is maleness even if their tiny body didn’t match.

Freddie today, Freddie everyday since.

Freddie listened to me, his mammy when I told him this was ok – there are other people like you, a rainbow in an otherwise blue sky.

In his new name his childhood began. Accepted and believed by friends, teachers, childminders, GP, dentist, Freddie’s life was normal. The village is not transphobic I would have him believe. But as his parent I was peddling pretty hard to ensure it…sticking my finger in the wall to stop Freddie’s world flooding…

So many firsts for people we needed help from, their professional support and expertise. The first time I formally met the school to ask for support they shared with me that in their many years of collective teaching experience they hadn’t taught a trans child…not that you know of, I thought.

School wanted medical input before they would support this. So off I went to take my healthy child to the GP. A proud father of 5 boys himself I thought we would be in good hands but he told me Freddie just needed to learn to behave. Something had gone wrong here, he said. But Freddie wasn’t naughty, he knew how to share, he did what was asked of him, he never hurt another intentionally but he absolutely refused to accept his birth
sex. They made a call on my behalf and we met the clever, kind, experienced consultant at the Sandyford clinic to discuss the tiny child and the things they liked to play with and wear.

But we had to talk about what this might mean for the future too. Healthcare is central to all in the village, some more than others. What will it mean for this little boy to go through puberty? What kind of life does a trans person live? They pointed me in the direction of peer reviewed research, they showed me what had come before, what had passed as trans health care. I was overwhelmed by how truly vulnerable trans people are and this is mainly down to how others treat them. The consultant said, You are believing him, allowing him just to be. That is what’s unstudied…Trans kids not being forced to change.

Freddie is 14 this Wednesday and he has a lot to celebrate. He has the health care that so many others only wait for. Hours of clinical assessment over 5 years, bone density tests, blood screening, body scans and chromosome testing all to monitor his healthy growth…our family are the lucky ones. His body is being given a trans shaped gift. It’s his own, a blank canvas to grow into. He has no breasts to bind, no period to endure, no dysphoria to disturb and distress him. If he could ask for anything this birthday it would be testosterone gel so that he could go through puberty with his friends but his puberty is suspended for another 2 years, this is a very exclusive but lonely club.

Sadly the Sandyford clinic or I can’t give him the very thick skin he needs to get through the day. His hard working school found it particularly hard to make bullying stop. It went on for 2 years and still goes on now. Kicks from nowhere, a shove, slap over the back of the head, firecrackers chucked in his face, his body thrown on top of a car by 3 others. And the sound of the hatred and ridicule ringing in his ears daily…tranny, mangina, anonymous death threats to his phone, followed home from school…It filled him with dread to wake in the morning and get ready for school. Eventually I stopped forcing him to go. We wouldn’t expect that of an adult, to face abuse everyday. The kids who did this to him, all they knew about. Freddie is that he’s trans. The school involved the police, as a family we debated taking things this far…children charged with hate crime? But the school assured us it was the right thing to do and the boys who were charged wore those charges like a badge of honour, letting Freddie know just how toxic they can be while they fight for their allegiance to gender. Slugs and snails and puppydog tales.

Nothing has challenged me more as a parent than holding my child through that. He turned the pain on himself briefly. The statistics for trans kids are not good…more likely to hurt themselves, more likely to experience suicidal thoughts, more likely to have an incomplete education, more likely to be attacked, assaulted, targeted. The school suggested he wear an imaginary shield of armour to get through each day. Preparing for battle, Freddie and I checked our ammunition…we had anti-bullying policy, an equality act, protected characteristics, ability to communicate, enthusiasm for learning. Freddie’s enemies would feel the wrath of our good manners and friendly dispositions as we presented our inclusive argument…it was exhausting so Freddy made do with sticking a pride flag on his bullies back. Humour is mightier than a punch. We have asked the school repeatedly to take a different approach with the children who enjoy harassing him. If they would acknowledge the prejudice base of this bullying and act accordingly.

But the school stuck to their systems, in Freddie’s eyes the violent kids won. His protected characteristic offered him no real protection at all. His own bloody school! The Silver Charter award stamped at the bottom of every transphobic email written by well meaning staff as they dance between the rock and the hard place. The policy asks them to assess the impact..you know where my kid wasn’t safe to go to school for months for something he can’t change about himself. Have they considered what this actually meant for our family? We have endured the impact without a break.

It made me wish I had more ammunition and at times I wondered where our allies were. It made me wish I was stronger, louder, braver, pushier, bolder. But what I really needed to do was be with Freddie and help him focus on the positives that are abundant when we take our moments to notice them.

In Freddie’s early years, I told him that these clothes, these toys were only stuff and choices. This became a pass to freedom, how radical that really is, telling a child that they get to follow their heart’s desire and they do! This is what the village objects to.

Here’s what I would like to read in the news

Section 28 is dead and buried, Trans joy is real.

But the village doesn’t want to teach children about gay stuff ( a direct quote from our parent council) so my child has grown-up explaining himself to the disbelieving and the curious and sadly the hateful too. We have to talk about diversity, yes in front of our kids, for our kids. This is our world, bigger than a village and it’s filled with extraordinary people, look at the myriad ways we exist! It’s a beautiful, life-saving truth and one I am proud of, are you?